成熟的人明白，生命自我肯定的方式並不在於獲取東西，而在於為別人奉獻時間，努力，力量，才智和愛心。 為此，生與死開始以一種不同的對立型態出現。 生存的動力，本能滿足的慾望，因終止了自我滿足的傾向，轉向了別人並為別人而這樣轉向，就自我超越了。 對自我而言，生命的動力「死」去了， 因為自我被奪去了無人可與之相爭就能得到的即時滿足感。 而今，生存的動力捨棄了這一切，為的是給予別人。 因此，生命「死」於自己，為的是將自己給出去，從而更成熟地、更豐碩地、更完全地肯定自己。 我們活着是為了死於自己並且將一切給予別人……。 這種為別人而「死」於自己之舉或多或少都是對生命的一種高超而特殊的肯定。 這樣的死亡是生命結出的果實，見證了生活是成熟和有用的。事實上，這是生命的終點和目標。

反思:
這樣，死亡正是生命可以臻至最圓滿成就的一刻 - 牟敦。

The mature person realizes that life affirms itself most, not in acquiring things, but in giving time, efforts, strength, intelligence, and love to others. Here a different kind of dialectic of life and death begins to appear. The living drive, the vital satisfaction, by "ending" its trend to self-satisfaction and redirecting itself to and for others, transcends itself. It "dies" insofar as the ego is concerned, for the self is deprived of the immediate satisfactions which it could claim withoutjavascript:void(0) being contested. Now it renounces these things, in order to give to others. Hence, life "dies" to itself in order to give itself away and thus affirms itself more maturely, more fruitfully, and more completely. We live in order to die to ourselves and give everything to others. ...This "dying" to self in order to give to others is nothing more or less than a higher and more special affirmation of life. Such dying is the fruit of life, the evidence of mature and productive living. It is, in fact, the end or the goal of life.

Thomas Merton. Love and Living. Naomi Burton Stone & Patrick Hart, editors (New York: Harcourt, Brace, Jonvanovich, 1985): 102.

Death is, then, the point at which life can attain its pure fulfillment. Death brings life to its goal. But the goal is not death-the goal is perfect life.